Invention: Smile for the Computer

Dedicated computer users sometimes tend to have unnaturally drab faces. This is the “Not Face.”

https://news.osu.edu/news/2016/03/28/notface/

http://www.npr.org/2016/04/03/472859124/we-all-know-the-not-face-now-we-have-a-name-for-it

Those with a Not Face may feel good or even bad inside. However, the electronically driven crowd is not communicating as good they should be; too many Not Faces everywhere.

I know this because some of the darkest times I went through, I had a smile on my face, all the while I was feeling miserable inside. Thus, there is a difference between smiling and feeling good.  Emotions come mostly from the inside. Smiling faces are superficial, and really only just muscles contracting according to cultural norm, or just plain conditioning.

Appearance is only skin deep, such that computer programmers should work on helping to condition people with dreary, "Not Faces" and to give them superficial help, and in addition to that probably make good money on it.

As an aside: Why muscle builders have neglected, to my knowledge, working on their facial muscles for the sake of giving themselves a smile is surprising.

The ultimate moneymaker idea is that someday faces meet the gym using a facial exercise program.

Club Intimacy: DJ Heart Synchrony Invention

This invention uses wireless technology, such as WiFi, wristbands (disposable) that take the pulse of their bearer, and computer DJ technology which will one day hopefully be invented that can combine pulse data in various ways to music at a dance club.

Upon entering the club, folks would get a wristband heart pulse monitor that would transfer pulse data especially when folks are dancing in order to better synchronize it with other folks pulses and the beats of the club. The computer would be constantly collecting pulse date, specifically via the wrist, which would then transmit that data to a computer for analysis with room for DJ input.

The idea is based upon one of the theories as to why people hold hands, etc, and that is that folks feel connected when holding hands because it causes their pulses to synchronize. At the club one could both turn the pulses of the folks in the club into music, and/or adjust music selected by the DJ to the pulse rates of folks in order to cause pulse synchrony, bringing about an intimate romantic feeling to the people at the club.

Also, pulses could be used in multiples. For instance if one person had a pulse of roughly 100 beats per minute, another person had a roughly of 80, and still another person had a pulse of 120 (maybe they were dancing up a storm), because these numbers are all divisible by 20, 10, 5, etc, aspects of the music could incorporate pulse multiples into beats per minute multiples.

A part of the idea is that the beat of the music is already going to be playing at rhythms relative to the heart (because it is loud music), but instead of relying completely on the DJ, the computer could adjust the music, in order to help a tech savvy DJ, making for what would hopefully be a better party.

This invention was essentially blogged back in 6/3/2012 – The basic ideas were there, but it was psychotic, and needed a redo.

Invention: Solomon’s Rub Ease Cream

The invention is primarily in name only.  It would be a standard cream designed to prevent chapping of the penis after or during masturbation.  It could probably be petroleum jelly based, or use another base for the purpose of lubrication.

The market for the cream would be primarily for religious folks.  It would be the type of cream that a father could sit down and have the talk about the birds and the bees with, hand him some cream and say, “This is what we have to do.”  This is a quotation that comes from ancient texts where it is reported that someone said this respect to the Virgin Mary, where the person who said that followed his worth with the action of eating his load.

The cream would come with a Bible verse on it, “Proverbs 31:10 A  wife of valor who can find?  She is worth more than rubies.”  Thus the cream Rub Ease would be a play on the word, “rubies.”  Please note, the following verse comes from the 1917 JPS Bible, which as I understand is free, in the public domain without copyright.  If there is a copyright to that Bible, then the King James Version (KJV) could be used.  It may be best to use the KJV since it carries with it the word, “Authoritative,” and many people are attached to it for that reason.  Proverbs 31:10 in the KJV is as follows, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”

The mission of the product would be to encourage men to go home and rub one out rather than have sex with a substandard woman, possibly getting her pregnant and the man to cough up a small fortune in child support payments.

The 2^nd mission of this product would be to get it into common drug stores, such as CVS, or general stores, such as those one might find at a gas station or maybe a chain like Christie’s.  Thus, this product should be intended to be popular among men, and not in some back alley way.  Stores interested in the product would be encouraged to keep it near the condoms.  Also, it might be a good idea to contact a company like Hustler and see if they would be willing to carry a sample of the cream in one of their issues.  Also, it might be sold at a vending machine in a men’s bathroom.

Invention: Middle of Song Guitar Play Causes Automatic Computer Tuning

This is an invention of an auto-tuning guitar that tunes while playing music.

This invention would include the use of a small computer on the guitar to constantly tune itself through note recognition, specifically through small or micro adjustments, similar to the microadjustments of a Floyd Rose locking tremolo.

The computer could be programmed to the note you want your string to be tuned to, but it could also be programed to tune the guitar to any notes.

For instance, it could recognize a G note on the fattest string tuned to E and then tune the guitar such that the string tuned to E would adjust to make for perfect tuning of the G note on the fattest string, E.

This would require battery power in order to power the guitar's computer.

The invention would crank gears preferably on the guitar body keeping the guitar constantly in tune while you play. Thus, the guitar would constantly be tuning while you are playing a song.

It is similar to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuhpngRgLEI&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Gibson auto tuning guitar

Differently from the Gibson design that tunes it before play, my design would constantly tune the guitar during play.

My invention would constantly be adjusting to the notes being played, and it would be programmed to ignore the bending of notes, either through standard bends, but especially during whammy bar usage.

Whammy bars can be quite troublesome to audiophiles, and this would be a way to practically eliminate this problem.

The idea is that through playing sometimes a string can be off a quarter of a note, or even a tenth of a note, but this would no long present a problem because it would be corrected for during play of the song.

Eric Dolan Ahhhhh....good for heavy whammy bar use.

Craig Hamilton Yup! Whammy bar use was primarily what I was thinking of. Never worry again about your guitar going out of tune while using the whammy (in the middle of a song)

For example, if you fret a note and didn't bend it. The gears could adjust so that the precise note was hit, such that a guitar essentially couldn't fall out of tune during a song.

If you hit a B flat, the guitar could detect that it was slightly off and tune that note say with respect to the A string if you played a B flat.


Of course, this invention could also include alternate tunings.