Monday, May 21, 2012

Invention: Solomon’s Rub Ease Cream


The invention is primarily in name only.  It would be a standard cream designed to prevent chapping of the penis after or during masturbation.  It could probably be petroleum jelly based, or use another base for the purpose of lubrication.
The market for the cream would be primarily for religious folks.  It would be the type of cream that a father could sit down and have the talk about the birds and the bees with, hand him some cream and say, “This is what we have to do.”  This is a quotation that comes from ancient texts where it is reported that someone said this respect to the Virgin Mary, where the person who said that followed his worth with the action of eating his load.
The cream would come with a Bible verse on it, “Proverbs 31:10 A  wife of valor who can find?  She is worth more than rubies.”  Thus the cream Rub Ease would be a play on the word, “rubies.”  Please note, the following verse comes from the 1917 JPS Bible, which as I understand is free, in the public domain without copyright.  If there is a copyright to that Bible, then the King James Version (KJV) could be used.  It may be best to use the KJV since it carries with it the word, “Authoritative,” and many people are attached to it for that reason.  Proverbs 31:10 in the KJV is as follows, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”
The mission of the product would be to encourage men to go home and rub one out rather than have sex with a substandard woman, possibly getting her pregnant and the man to cough up a small fortune in child support payments.
The 2nd mission of this product would be to get it into common drug stores, such as CVS, or general stores, such as those one might find at a gas station or maybe a chain like Christie’s.  Thus, this product should be intended to be popular among men, and not in some back alley way.  Stores interested in the product would be encouraged to keep it near the condoms.  Also, it might be a good idea to contact a company like Hustler and see if they would be willing to carry a sample of the cream in one of their issues.  Also, it might be sold at a vending machine in a men’s bathroom.

No comments:

Post a Comment